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Mike & Kim [message #2149] Tue, 31 August 2004 06:52 Go to next message
Brooke  is currently offline Brooke
Messages: 695
Registered: August 2004
Location: Portland, OR
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I can't find the thread now but in reading all the messages over the last few days, I recall one about Mike and Kim. At least I think that's who it was. Specifically about them not even having kissed because of her past experiences with a guy (rape?).

The concensus seemed to be that no way was anything going to happen since it'd been months ith her not even wanting to be touched.

Well, I can speak on this from experience with a partner who had exactly that sort of problem for similar reasons.

It took *years*. But it was worth t in the end.

But it *was* slow and frustrating at times. Having a good friend that you *know* is interested in you, but who can barely stand to be *touched* at times is a bit wearing.

So don't expect rapid progress with rape or abuse victims, folks. They have to be ready.

ps. I got inspired to write this because I'm re-reading Travis & Val's first date. Smile

He's doing a better job than I did.
Re: Mike & Kim [message #2150] Tue, 31 August 2004 19:51 Go to previous messageGo to next message
StealthTS  is currently offline StealthTS
Messages: 20
Registered: August 2004
Location: SF Bay Area
Junior Member
Quote:

Specifically about them not even having kissed because of her past experiences with a guy (rape?).
[...]
Well, I can speak on this from experience with a partner who had exactly that sort of problem for similar reasons.

It took *years*. But it was worth t in the end.


I can understand this from the other side. 7 or so years ago, I was attacked and nearly raped. It didn't happen, however, I had lots of therapy and even to today, sometimes, it all flashes back. It's tough to deal with from our side too. I'm quite a bit better, but you're right, it's taken years.

Quote:

But it *was* slow and frustrating at times. Having a good friend that you *know* is interested in you, but who can barely stand to be *touched* at times is a bit wearing.

So don't expect rapid progress with rape or abuse victims, folks. They have to be ready.


I'm glad you two stuck it out. It is tough and it can be painful, but in the end, rewarding.

Quote:

ps. I got inspired to write this because I'm re-reading Travis & Val's first date. Smile

He's doing a better job than I did.


heh. I just have this image in my head of what a hunk Travis is Razz

Mel


In my spare time, I like to insult fruit. Damn fruit.
Re: Mike & Kim [message #2152] Wed, 01 September 2004 01:25 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Brooke  is currently offline Brooke
Messages: 695
Registered: August 2004
Location: Portland, OR
Senior Member
StealthTS wrote on Tue, 31 August 2004 16:51

Quote:

Specifically about them not even having kissed because of her past experiences with a guy (rape?).
[...]
Well, I can speak on this from experience with a partner who had exactly that sort of problem for similar reasons.

It took *years*. But it was worth t in the end.


I can understand this from the other side. 7 or so years ago, I was attacked and nearly raped. It didn't happen, however, I had lots of therapy and even to today, sometimes, it all flashes back. It's tough to deal with from our side too. I'm quite a bit better, but you're right, it's taken years.


Oh, I have "similar" experiences of my own. I've got PTSD and social phobia from going thru stuff rather like what Tuck was getting from the jocks. Plus a twist that he never got (thank god).

Quote:


Quote:

But it *was* slow and frustrating at times. Having a good friend that you *know* is interested in you, but who can barely stand to be *touched* at times is a bit wearing.

So don't expect rapid progress with rape or abuse victims, folks. They have to be ready.


I'm glad you two stuck it out. It is tough and it can be painful, but in the end, rewarding.


Well, we're still friends. We finally ended the relationship due to incompatabilities with regards to a couple of things. Sad

Oh, silly note. First time we were visiting her mother, what movie did dear ole mom want to watch? "Fatal Attraction". Yeesh!

Quote:


Quote:

ps. I got inspired to write this because I'm re-reading Travis & Val's first date. Smile

He's doing a better job than I did.


heh. I just have this image in my head of what a hunk Travis is Razz

Mel


Well, I'd rather have Val. More fun to talk to. Sex isn't everything. Smile

"Being bi means you've got twice as many chances of getting turned down on saturday nite"

ps. upon getting farther into re-reading things, it looks like it was actually George & Ellen not Mike & Kim.
Re: Mike & Kim [message #2153] Wed, 01 September 2004 01:59 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Eric  is currently offline Eric
Messages: 641
Registered: January 2003
Location: San Francisco
Senior Member
Brooke wrote on Tue, 31 August 2004 22:25

...upon getting farther into re-reading things, it looks like it was actually George & Ellen not Mike & Kim.


Actually, it's Dan who ends up with Ellen, at least so far. But it is Kim who's unable to be alone with Mike (except at the hotel room in April after Tuck ran away) because of past problems with guys that took place before the story started.

Eric
Re: Mike & Kim [message #2169] Wed, 01 September 2004 16:33 Go to previous messageGo to next message
StealthTS  is currently offline StealthTS
Messages: 20
Registered: August 2004
Location: SF Bay Area
Junior Member
Brooke wrote on Tue, 31 August 2004 22:25

StealthTS wrote on Tue, 31 August 2004 16:51

[...]
I can understand this from the other side. 7 or so years ago, I was attacked and nearly raped. It didn't happen, however, I had lots of therapy and even to today, sometimes, it all flashes back. It's tough to deal with from our side too. I'm quite a bit better, but you're right, it's taken years.


Oh, I have "similar" experiences of my own. I've got PTSD and social phobia from going thru stuff rather like what Tuck was getting from the jocks. Plus a twist that he never got (thank god).


Oh yes. I don't have PTSD from it, but I also had quite a few bad dealings with jocks. Plus, being bi didn't help. I wasn't out about it back in school, however, there were a few times I screwed up. Like once, we were outside of my history class waiting for it to start. The guys I were with were watching the girls' volleyball team practice and one said "God, doesn't that make you hot?" to which I replied "Nope". I then thought "oh sh*t".

Yeah. I hated having to watch what I said. :/

Quote:


Quote:


Quote:

But it *was* slow and frustrating at times. Having a good friend that you *know* is interested in you, but who can barely stand to be *touched* at times is a bit wearing.

So don't expect rapid progress with rape or abuse victims, folks. They have to be ready.


I'm glad you two stuck it out. It is tough and it can be painful, but in the end, rewarding.


Well, we're still friends. We finally ended the relationship due to incompatabilities with regards to a couple of things. Sad


At least you're still friends. Smile

Quote:

Oh, silly note. First time we were visiting her mother, what movie did dear ole mom want to watch? "Fatal Attraction". Yeesh!


Eeep!

Quote:

Quote:


Quote:

ps. I got inspired to write this because I'm re-reading Travis & Val's first date. Smile

He's doing a better job than I did.


heh. I just have this image in my head of what a hunk Travis is Razz

Mel


Well, I'd rather have Val. More fun to talk to. Sex isn't everything. Smile

"Being bi means you've got twice as many chances of getting turned down on saturday nite"


Well, that's for sure. I didn't lose my virginity till last year... and I'm 31. Razz Val would have been fun too. Smile Being bi can be interesting. I dated a bi guy once. We used to go get breakfast over in Berkeley. We'd sit outside and check out the girls -and- the guys. heh.

Mel


In my spare time, I like to insult fruit. Damn fruit.
Re: Mike & Kim [message #2174] Thu, 02 September 2004 02:09 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Brooke  is currently offline Brooke
Messages: 695
Registered: August 2004
Location: Portland, OR
Senior Member
StealthTS wrote on Wed, 01 September 2004 13:33

Brooke wrote on Tue, 31 August 2004 22:25

StealthTS wrote on Tue, 31 August 2004 16:51

[...]
I can understand this from the other side. 7 or so years ago, I was attacked and nearly raped. It didn't happen, however, I had lots of therapy and even to today, sometimes, it all flashes back. It's tough to deal with from our side too. I'm quite a bit better, but you're right, it's taken years.


Oh, I have "similar" experiences of my own. I've got PTSD and social phobia from going thru stuff rather like what Tuck was getting from the jocks. Plus a twist that he never got (thank god).


Oh yes. I don't have PTSD from it, but I also had quite a few bad dealings with jocks. Plus, being bi didn't help. I wasn't out about it back in school, however, there were a few times I screwed up. Like once, we were outside of my history class waiting for it to start. The guys I were with were watching the girls' volleyball team practice and one said "God, doesn't that make you hot?" to which I replied "Nope". I then thought "oh sh*t".

Yeah. I hated having to watch what I said. :/



I didn't make any slips like that, though that was at least because I was more het than bi at the time.

On the other hand, that twist....

Back in 7th grade a girl from a Pack like group of girlss befriended me. after a couple of weeks, I confided something in her, don't recall what. Next morning, I walk into school and she's with the other girls making fun of me for it.

One of the reasons I had *severe* trust issues for decades.

Quote:


Quote:

Oh, silly note. First time we were visiting her mother, what movie did dear ole mom want to watch? "Fatal Attraction". Yeesh!


Eeep!



Her mom has a strange sense of humor.

Quote:

Quote:


Well, I'd rather have Val. More fun to talk to. Sex isn't everything. Smile

"Being bi means you've got twice as many chances of getting turned down on saturday nite"


Well, that's for sure. I didn't lose my virginity till last year... and I'm 31. Razz Val would have been fun too. Smile Being bi can be interesting. I dated a bi guy once. We used to go get breakfast over in Berkeley. We'd sit outside and check out the girls -and- the guys. heh.

Mel


I didn'yt lose my virginity ntil I was 20(?). I let it slip that I was a virgin, and the folks several guys and a couple of girls, decided I needed to be "helped". They were going to hire a hooker.

Remember my comments about "severe trust issues"? I went up to my room and had a severe meltdown. Luckily one of the girls I thought I might be able to trust some. Don't ask me why I did it this way, but I recorded a rather tearful (I could barely talk) request for help on a cassette and handed it to her with a "*please* listen to this" request.

She got them to back off.

Later, after she'd moved out, she took me on a few dates, and relieved me of my virginity.

She was a bit boggled when I told her that our first date was *my* first date.

She was also bi. And it was rather interesting to walk down the street and have her pointing out the cute girls to me. Smile
Re: Mike & Kim [message #2184] Thu, 02 September 2004 15:02 Go to previous message
StealthTS  is currently offline StealthTS
Messages: 20
Registered: August 2004
Location: SF Bay Area
Junior Member
Brooke wrote on Wed, 01 September 2004 23:09

StealthTS wrote on Wed, 01 September 2004 13:33

Oh yes. I don't have PTSD from it, but I also had quite a few bad dealings with jocks. Plus, being bi didn't help. I wasn't out about it back in school, however, there were a few times I screwed up. Like once, we were outside of my history class waiting for it to start. The guys I were with were watching the girls' volleyball team practice and one said "God, doesn't that make you hot?" to which I replied "Nope". I then thought "oh sh*t".

Yeah. I hated having to watch what I said. :/



I didn't make any slips like that, though that was at least because I was more het than bi at the time.


That's good. I've always liked guys more than girls. Smile

Quote:

On the other hand, that twist....

Back in 7th grade a girl from a Pack like group of girlss befriended me. after a couple of weeks, I confided something in her, don't recall what. Next morning, I walk into school and she's with the other girls making fun of me for it.

One of the reasons I had *severe* trust issues for decades.


Ugh. That seriously sucks. Sad

Quote:

Quote:


Quote:

Oh, silly note. First time we were visiting her mother, what movie did dear ole mom want to watch? "Fatal Attraction". Yeesh!


Eeep!



Her mom has a strange sense of humor.


No kdding. Razz

Quote:

Quote:

Quote:


Well, I'd rather have Val. More fun to talk to. Sex isn't everything. Smile

"Being bi means you've got twice as many chances of getting turned down on saturday nite"


Well, that's for sure. I didn't lose my virginity till last year... and I'm 31. Razz Val would have been fun too. Smile Being bi can be interesting. I dated a bi guy once. We used to go get breakfast over in Berkeley. We'd sit outside and check out the girls -and- the guys. heh.


I didn'yt lose my virginity ntil I was 20(?). I let it slip that I was a virgin, and the folks several guys and a couple of girls, decided I needed to be "helped". They were going to hire a hooker.


Ack!

Quote:

Remember my comments about "severe trust issues"? I went up to my room and had a severe meltdown. Luckily one of the girls I thought I might be able to trust some. Don't ask me why I did it this way, but I recorded a rather tearful (I could barely talk) request for help on a cassette and handed it to her with a "*please* listen to this" request.

She got them to back off.


Well, that's at least cool. Smile

Quote:

Later, after she'd moved out, she took me on a few dates, and relieved me of my virginity.

She was a bit boggled when I told her that our first date was *my* first date.


heh. Yeah, I never dated until I met my ex-bf Cliff nearly 9 years ago or so. He was surprised considering he said "Wow, but you're so cute!" yeah, right.

Quote:

She was also bi. And it was rather interesting to walk down the street and have her pointing out the cute girls to me. Smile



That's always interesting. Smile

Mel


In my spare time, I like to insult fruit. Damn fruit.
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