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Forum: TG or Not TG
 Topic: Joy Ladin discussing gender and transition on NPR
Joy Ladin discussing gender and transition on NPR [message #8477] Sun, 14 December 2014 21:30
Schol-R-LEA  is currently offline Schol-R-LEA
Messages: 31
Registered: July 2007
Location: Alpharetta, GA

I happened to be driving when 'On Being' came on NPR today. Normally, the show makes me feel uncomfortable because it is so often at odds with my own rather diffident and somewhat unwilling sense of spirituality, and I was about to change the channel when I caught the subject of the episode. I decided to listen after all.

I have not had such a shock of self-recognition since the first time I read the Principia Discordia (long story). I was hearing Joy express feelings I was afraid were unique to myself, feelings so painful and raw I had rarely stated them to anyone except my therapist, even some feelings I had never admitted even to myself. It was so hard for me to listen that I had to stop, but I heard one last thing before I did: that the full interview was on their website.

Eventually, I did listen to the whole thing, but it was rather a catharsis and while I'm glad I did, it was rough on me.

Anyway, I thought some of the others here might want to hear it as well.
 Topic: Living in a funhouse mirror
Living in a funhouse mirror [message #8467] Sun, 02 November 2014 12:09
Schol-R-LEA  is currently offline Schol-R-LEA
Messages: 31
Registered: July 2007
Location: Alpharetta, GA

While I have never been closeted about my sexual orientation, I am finding - to paraphrase Tuck - that gender issues are a lot more complicated than homosexuality. At least for me they are. But at least now I am talking about them, both to my therapist and to my family.

So far, I have been and remain fortunate to be as accepted as I have been, but that doesn't help the confusion.

For years I have played with the idea that I am genderqueer. I certainly have never been comfortable in my skin, feeling like a passenger in a vehicle someone else - someone completely nuts - is in control of. I hate my body, and not just because - as most people assume - I weigh in excess of 450 pounds. Even when I was thin - yes, there was a time I was thin, even I tend to forget that - I hated my body just as passionately. Corporeal existence itself seems a curse to me.

I know, without question, that I don't feel male - that the role I am playing is an act, and one I feel certain everyone is seeing through, at that. Yet I can't seem to stop playing it, being to afraid to find an alternative.

I've never felt female, either, though; at least, I don't think I have. I wouldn't know a thing about being female in our society.

Gender roles, on the whole, are a black box to me.

And yet... there's always been a part of me that has wanted to experiment with being female. I don't really think it would be 'really' me any more than being Joseph is, or even being Jay (which I see as two different roles, the latter being at least closer to who I 'really am'), but somehow, I have this itch that I can't seem to scratch. I'm not sure I could with anything less than a TFD, a la El Goonish Shive or Umlaut House.

I certainly don't fetishize clothing - in fact, I hate clothing of all kinds, especially men's business and formal attire, and I am a naturist by habit, at least when I am alone, and except for having funny pictures on t-shirts, I find dressing for anything other than comfort and protection meaningless. Or so I always thought; but if that's so true, why is the idea of trying to dress 'as a woman' so frightening and yet appealing to me?

If I could, I would change back and forth at will, but I think, somehow, that the female is closer to the real me than the male. Does that make me bi-gendered? Perhaps, but again, the social roles are a closed book to me, I just don't understand them.

What makes this complicated is that there is a definite streak of autogynephilia in the mix as well, a fetishizing of taking female form physically. It's an embarrassing thing to admit, but most of my sexual fantasies do involve me as a female, usually with another female but often with a male. My fantasy life is a very mixed up thing, though, and that's maybe 75% of the time; the other times, either I am a male (not necessarily my own body), or I am simply observing from the outside, not participating at all. Despite what that idiot Blanchard (or whatever his name is) may think, though, it is clear to me that this is a separate issue from my gender confusion. The gender role is the important factor, and most of the time, I feel as if I want to reject both of the commonly accepted roles entirely.

I don't even know what to call myself. Genderqueer? Androgyne? Bi-gender? None of the above? Or am I simply transgendered and in denial? I honestly, truly do not know, and that is what really scares me most of all.

I often said, when I first came out about my sexuality, that I knew from that start that the question wasn't either/or for me, but both/neither. It turned out to be both. But for gender, it seems even more complex, and harder to pin down. I have no idea where this is going to take me, and I am afraid.

[Updated on: Sun, 02 November 2014 12:13]

 Topic: The Wotch is back
The Wotch is back [message #7013] Sat, 15 October 2011 18:42
JenC  is currently offline JenC
Messages: 49
Registered: March 2011
I don't know if anyone here is interested but it was my first webcomic.

Anyway it appears it came back from hiatus in August. Link to last page before hiatus

 Topic: 1st Shop of Coffee Prince
1st Shop of Coffee Prince [message #6338] Tue, 20 October 2009 20:49
iWindoze  is currently offline iWindoze
Messages: 172
Registered: September 2002
Location: USA
Senior Member

I don't know how many people here are into watching international television series, but considering the drek that is American TV these days I'm forced to look elsewhere for my entertainment these days. I saw this with my sister awhile back, we both enjoyed it quite a bit and are looking forward to the sequels. (So long as they don't ruin them by making them without as much of the original cast as possible.)

Somehow I doubt a Season Two can be as good now that my favorite "prince" can never be in it. Lee Eon who was Hwang Min-yeop died in a tragic motorcycle accident while riding home from the cast party of his then latest drama. When rewriting the storylines for the series from the book it was based on Lee Sun Mi added several elements and fleshed out the characters of the princes. I think Hwang Min-yeop's character was more or less created on the spot and Lee Eon was just perfect as a young man with more brawn than brains who nonetheless knew he was a man in love. The scene with him and Go Eun Chan's sister in the park was one of the most moving scenes I've seen.

Since there has been little news about doing a CP2, it looks like the producers are going to wait for Gong Yoo (Choi Han Kyul, the male lead) to finish his mandatory military duty before they green light the project. I was worried because there were some rumors about them going ahead and filming without him, which would have ruined the whole thing. Both he and Yoon Eun Hye (the female lead) had an on screen chemistry that was very believable. Trying to go it without either of them... Thank God the producers came to their senses!

So what's the series all about?

1st Shop of Coffee Prince was a popular 2007 South Korean drama about a tomboyish girl (Yoon Eun Hye as Go Eun Chan) constantly confused for a boy who gets hired to pretend to be a homosexual lover by a rich playboy (Gong Yoo as Choi Han Kyul) who doesn't know she's actually a girl to help him get out of an arranged marriage. Then later, when his family puts him to the test and requires the young playboy to make a failing tea shop successful again in three months time or lose out on his inheritance he recruits her to work alongside several other young men to entice customers from nearby colleges and offices filled with young ladies.

As time goes on Han Kyul begins to fall in love with Go Eun Chan, but still thinking she is a man he struggles with the idea he might really be a homosexual, and not just pretending to get out of those arranged marriages. The biggest draw of the series is the raw emotions shown by each actor as they grapple with the intense emotions involved and choosing whether to bravely strike out in pursuit of love or run away and never know what might have been. Of course, even after that, there's still the explosive revelation of Go Eun Chan's true gender...

The series features several subplots, giving each of the main characters an engrossing back story and features a parallel romance between the leading man's cousin whose on again and off again relationship with his fiancee has been eating away at him. Keep an eye out for Lee Eon and Han Ye In (Eun Chan's sister) and their mother's love triangle with the former manager of the tea shop and a local meat merchant whose been chasing her for years...

Okay, I'm interested. Where can I find the series online?

I'm glad you asked! Smile

To read the English fanslation of the original novel (warning the TV series deviates from the book quite a bit, though the author was a technical consultant and credited with cowriting the script) see this xanga site:

To watch the series with English translation streamed:

If you have a megaupload\rapidshare account you can download and watch it in High Quality offline: ce.html

 Topic: Re: Not even Ellen could have thought this one up
Re: Not even Ellen could have thought this one up [message #3778] Sat, 25 June 2005 22:10
Amy!  is currently offline Amy!
Messages: 76
Registered: May 2005
Location: RTP NC

Check the archives of the newsletter.

I feel certain that the poor kid in the quoted article will be enormously aided in coping with these sorts of issues by having the story splashed all over the internet.
 Topic: Middle Sex - Channel 4 documentary, UK
Middle Sex - Channel 4 documentary, UK [message #3593] Thu, 26 May 2005 08:22
rachel.greenham  is currently offline rachel.greenham
Messages: 290
Registered: November 2002
Location: Bristol, UK
Senior Member
It's on tonight, so I haven't seen it yet. This is the channel's own mini-site about the programme:

 Topic: Secret Intersex (Channel 4 documentary, UK)
Secret Intersex (Channel 4 documentary, UK) [message #1770] Wed, 07 April 2004 15:44
rachel.greenham  is currently offline rachel.greenham
Messages: 290
Registered: November 2002
Location: Bristol, UK
Senior Member
This could be of interest to people here, I thought, and definitely on-topic:

So, the homepage for the program is here, and is pretty good, I thought: ntersex.html

And someone ripped it!

We've got some bittorrents up at: The filenames should be self-explanatory. As I write there's just part 1, but I'm receiving part 2 for seeding later this evening. Also, these files are large and in a funky xvid format (but very high quality video), so if we're able, we'll try to transcode a nice compatible and more compact version which would appear later. In the meantime, we need more peers, so feel free to pass this around to others you think would be interested.

 Topic: Re: Sleepover with The Pack - more immitate(life, art)
Re: Sleepover with The Pack - more immitate(life, art) [message #475] Fri, 01 November 2002 21:16
Messages: 51
Registered: October 2002
Location: USA

^_^ Great story. I love it when that kinda thing happens.

Whenever we were put into groups for school functions, I was always grouped with a bunch of girls. Which was kinda cool but kinda not, because I never got treated like one of them ;p It was still kinda neat for me though. Better than being grouped with boys ;p But I mean like as early as I can remember, from like 3rd grade up into High School, that'd always happen to me. Fate was trying to tell me something! ;p


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